Is She Snoring?
by imisskate
Summary: Anthony DiNozzo loves stakeouts! That is, when his partner doesn't fall asleep. With a sleeping Kate and nothing to do, what he resort to, and how will Kate deal with it?


Tony looked over at Kate from the driver's seat. He could barely see more than her outline in the 3 AM darkness. Her forehead was pressed up against the passenger door window, and, though he couldn't see her face, he was positive that she was at least half asleep.

He chuckled to himself. This is what he loved about stakeouts – the chance to spend quality time with members of his team. Quality time harassing them, that is.

Tony glanced around the small NCIS car to see what he had to work with. Wrappers from their dinner – for Tony, a double cheeseburger, and Kate, some silly vegetable wrap – a few napkins, his nearly empty drive-thru coke, and the car keys were all that could be found.

_Kate keeps this car too clean. Women, _he mentally scoffed. _If only there were a Sharpie or something to draw on her with…_

Tony sighed and reached to the left side of his seat to recline it_. I guess I'll have to annoy Kate another day,_ he thought, putting his hands behind his head and relaxing. _Someone's got to keep an eye on this idiot we're watching._

The digital numbers on the dashboard clock slowly moved by as Kate sat lifelessly in the passenger seat. _This has got to be the most boring stakeout ever,_ Tony mentally complained. Gibbs hadn't even checked in with them in the past hour, and Tony wouldn't dare to call him without any news. He was doomed to suffer through the rest of the night in silence.

_Anthony DiNozzo_, he mentally scolded himself. _How dare you waste an opportunity to get under Kate's skin? What if you die tomorrow, and the last thing you ever did to Kate was let her sleep through a stakeout? She needs to remember you as the devilishly handsome yet terribly annoying being you are._

Tony looked around the vehicle for inspiration once more and saw his now room-temperature coke. He swiftly grabbed it and put the straw in his mouth. After taking in a great gulp of air, he let it all out into the straw and blew so many bubbles into the coke he got dizzy. He looked over at Kate with a big grin on his face, expecting a slap at the least. Instead, Kate quietly mumbled, "fuck off, Tony," without even opening her eyes.

Tony's grin quickly left his face. That didn't even wake her up! He thought that would do the trick, his father was annoyed out of his mind whenever Tony used to do that as a child. Maybe his father just hated _everything_ he did.

_ She knew it was me, though,_ he thought as the grin slipped back onto his face, _even without waking up. She subconsciously thinks of me! I bet she's attracted to me. I bet she's dreaming about me right now…_

Tony slowly leaned forward to study Kate's face. She looked peaceful, and a faint smile was barely visible. _Maybe she's not dreaming of me_, he realized_. She tends to scowl instead of smile when I'm within a thousand feet of her. _A slight noise made him freeze.

_ Wait a second…_ Tony thought, getting precariously close to Kate. _Is that snoring I detect?_ He carefully leaned forward so that his face was just a mere inch or two from hers. He listened to her breathe in and out and contemplated the definition of a snore. _There's definitely a hitch in her breathing, _he thought, closing his eyes to listen more carefully_, so I conclude –_

"_Anthony DiNozzo_." Tony's eyes flew open and he automatically winced. Somehow Kate had managed to turn those two whispered words - his name, for crying out loud - into a threat. Combined with the hazel eyes giving him the meanest glare he had ever seen, and he was instantly terrified_. Survival 101_, he quickly recalled, _when detected by the creature, stay as still as possible until retreat is safe. Don't break eye contact._

"Yes, Katie dearest?" he whispered, not moving. In their close proximity he released that her eyes were almost the exact same shade of hazel as his.

"What the_ hell_ do you think you're doing, DiNozzo?" Kate whispered furiously. Never before had a whisper been so fearsome. Tony blinked. As Kate's face came back into focus, he quickly muttered, "I was trying to see if you snore." He started to lean back into his seat, but Kate quickly grabbed his face with her right hand. His cheeks were squished against his teeth uncomfortably as she muttered, "If your face is ever that close to me again, you _will _regret it." She released him and he quickly withdrew the top half of his body back to the driver's side.

"By the way, you _do_ snore," he said confidently now that he had moved back into safe territory.

"I do not!" Kate said loudly, glaring at him once more. Suddenly she burst into laughter. "Who cares if I snore? If you had to be on top of me to hear it, I'm not worried."

"I see your point, Kate," Tony said brightly. "No one is _ever_ that close to you, so it's not a problem."

"Exactly!" Kate agreed. "I mean – hang on, are you trying to imply that I have no sex life?"

"You said it, not me!" Tony remarked, hiding his head behind his arm just in case. Instead of the attack he was expecting, Kate merely sighed.

"You know, Tony, someday I will just not be able to help myself," she said with mock-honesty.

"Is that so?" Tony said seductively, inching closer. _Most women warm up to sooner or later. Maybe Kate's just a late bloomer?_

"Yes," she whispered, leaning towards him. When her lips were right by his ear she murmured, "The only thing that keeps me from killing you on a daily basis is the fact that Ducky probably wouldn't take well to you being on his autopsy table."

Tony pulled back so quickly he banged his head on the driver's side window. Kate's accompanying snicker soon turned into loud giggling as she doubled over in laughter. Tony stared at her from his side of the car. _Women_, he thought once more, _make _no_ sense._

Before he knew it, however, even he was chuckling. Everything is funnier after midnight, after all. "Kate, darling, you sure know how to put the hate in our love-hate relationship," Tony said, only half joking. She looked over and smiled threateningly at him.

_Yup,_ Tony thought, _just another normal stakeout with Special Agent Caitlin Todd_.


End file.
